对不起~~

最近都不知道怎么啦~
整个人很累很累~~

课程都不是很packed，可是却很爱睡~~

对不起爱玲，我不该连累你~~
我不该让你烦恼，让你帮我~对不起~

其实，当我跟他说清楚的那一刻，我就预了我们会连朋友都没得做`~

算了吧，就这样失去了一个朋友，一个好朋友~
但，还是要谢谢你帮我~~
最后，对不起连累到你~~~
我保证不会再有这样的事情~~

其实，我拒绝你也是有我自己的理由~
当然就我说的，你的想法~~
但，还有一个最最最严重的是，我自己的健康不是很好~~
我不想当任何人的包袱，的负担~~
因为，重来都没有人顶得顺，全部都只是会说，都是最后做不到的~~

妈咪啊妈咪，别怕，凡事交托于主~我会为你祷告~

其实说真的，每次都在安慰妈咪，告诉她说会没事的~
但说完后，自己就会躲起来自己哭~
因为我比妈咪还要怕，还要担心~

多希望我能帮她承担一切，一切的病痛我来碍~

我真的真的不知道要怎样帮她，又减少不了她的病情~~

每一天，都得带着面具去上课~
最近也一直jio人家出去~~
逼近像放轻松自己~~

就在这时候，慧熹share了一个Post~
女兒，我沒有叫屬我的人特別免於苦難。可是……在你難過的時候，有我一直在你身邊陪伴你。感谢主，感谢祢常与我同在，一路上的陪伴，陪我度过种种难关~:)

慧熹真的真的谢谢你，

在我最软弱的时候让我知道,提醒我别怕，主耶稣一直都在~
感谢主，感谢你唱与我同在，感谢你一路上的陪伴，陪伴我度过种种的难关~

这个小朋友啊，她啊还share了另一个给我~
要过基督徒的生活，单靠自己的力量是办不到的；但圣灵能托住你、支持你。假若你挣扎、抵抗、拳打脚踢，他想托住你也托不住。你应该安静放松自己；在主里面，把心里的紧张、情结通通解开，完全倚靠他。遇有重大问题，不要担心，不要忧虑，由他来为你作决定。不要为明天忧虑，他是掌管明天的主，他知道始也知道终。不要为生活的所需担忧，他会供应。一个真正得胜的基督徒，尽管面对忧虑、不安与紧张，因深信这一切都在上主的手中，他能驾驭，到最后都能顺利克服。倚靠圣灵，不但许多忧虑和内心的紧张与不安可以祛除，连许多身体与精神的病痛也会消失。 

有时候，真的觉得她像我的妈妈~一直提醒我，照顾我~哈哈，谢谢你~~


Ea,对不起~~~暂时帮不到你~~
我知道你一直都很辛苦，但记得不要放弃~~
对不起，等我好点了在帮你把~~
sorray~~

Trying hard for it

This few days, 

I was gng here n there,having trips,

making new frenz,meeting old frenz,go gathering,

working hard,joining church camp,so to make myself super duper tired.

There's a reason for everythg i do, as I was so so so busy + tired wif my stuft,

everythg was so so pack~

and I wnt even hav a single time to think of nonsense,all d negative thgs,

made myself full used of d time left,

n MOST OF ALL,i wnt hav d time to think of you, n made myself suffering all day long.

and one more,d time which is packed will pass faster~

n till tat day,tata~~

I know i shld forget abt u,

bt sorry to say tat, I CNT......I cnt 4get abt u....
I miss u day by day,even evry night,I dreamt abt u, oh LORD.....

there's lotz of question i wanna ask u~~

How r u???

how's final???

was everythg alright in U???

Hope the best for you....

Good luck n all d best for ur finals n future undertakings~

dun get over stress,juz believe tat u wil b alright,evrythg is gonna be okay,like u owez did~

ooh ya,pls dun do silly thgs jz to make urself staying awake n study~(praying really hard over here for u)

GAMBATEH  DES~~

*Imma trying vry hard to be brave n stay strong~but thy r really difficult to me,so LORD pls guide n lead me in that, AMEN.

sorry,but~~

I love you~~

女大学生的最后告别礼

一位22岁的女大学生，患癌症后截肢、放疗使她骨瘦如柴、奄奄一息。她在医院得到医护人员及家属很好的关怀与照料，临终那天突然精神很好。他把在学校获得的优等证书、笔记本、钢笔等拿出来，并一一签上名，然后交给父母、同学。她吻别所有的人，并请求老师、同学到毕业时替她交一份答卷，她希望与同学一起毕业。她祝福医生、护士一生平安，请求母亲为她梳洗打扮，并请求医护人员为她取掉所有的插管、绷带、纱布，她说她需要休息，不想听到妈妈的哭泣。最后他安静的离开，一切是那么的自然、和谐，母亲平静地抱着女儿坐上了远去的灵车。

tis really touched me....
and she's brave...really..

tis is wat we call It LIFE....

"look forward in your life,you didnt spoil anything,just don't spoil yourself,love your life and live it"
-someone told me tis....
LOok forward......（can I?????）
I din spoilt anythg......(NO......I DID......我破坏了自己的幸福。。。我自己毁掉了。。。）
LOVE My life....live it??????(can i?????....)

SERIOUSLY....I cun.......I really cun......sorry to say so......all i can is to wait......went to tis 组长培训营。。。den i saw tis......somehow from a teenager.....我不会表达我自己，所以我不知道如何把自己所要的说出来，我总是选择了沉默，保持沉默，不让就总是表达地不清不楚。。。我就是这样，希望你能多了解，多关怀我。。。somehow it is all my 心声。。。I really duno how to 表达myself....
hmmmm.....tats too much i wanna ask.....too much i wanna tell....i wanna ask "HOw are you recently????"......but den i cun....and d only thg is just tat i prefer to keep quiet....tis is how stupid im.....tis is how i spoilt everthg.....i spoilt my own 幸福，我毁了自己的幸福，我破坏了它。。。

seriously,i nid someone to understands and believe in me......I really do nid it badly.....but den.....can i???????x one else believe me.....x one else understnads me......I REALLY DIN MEAN IT........I REALLY DIN MEAN TO DO IT.......do u noe tat....imma hurting u by hurting myself.....
is all by mistake......i din say tat im x wrong.....YA....im wrong.....and i regret and I knew it....and I changed......did u ever seen someone when he or she did wrongly,and she tried to save it,changed it in every single way???????NO right....normally.....tat person wil let it pass by......and see....Tis girl did evrythg.....she changed, she regreted, she save it in every single way she can ever find....cun u guys see it???????she is serious in tis relationship and she din fool in it...but just y????X one ever believe nor understnads her....

and....the another thg......d amount of my friend is getting smaller.....you BLOCK me....he UNFRIEND me.....she delete me from d list......hey.....do u know tat tat hurts...kay...it really does...somehow we are once to be known as friends,kay.......FReakly speaking......Imma really sad.....sorry....

it is exam time now......amanda.....let's put all this aside......study....i noe it is hard,but just try ur best...kay?????And remember....owez...pray to God.......God wil lead and guide you.....cz Jesus owez love you......(countdown to 5 more days....d 1st paper....and i stil have alot of them....I CUN FINISH THEM>>>.....ARGH....)

after exam....it is holiday....everyone is happy....cz thy can meet wif their love one....and i cun....sorry to say so.....and mb after all thos camps.....imma go on an missing in action.....ya......wat will it be?????a vacation????? NO......den?????wat else u wanna do wif "MISSION IN ACTION" den??????.....hmmmmm......x a word.....just tat im risking my life to do this....and i wish b4 tat I can meet u once....but......i noe...it's impossible.....stupid me....ISHHHH.....

it is just an photo.....and i cun really remember went i took it......just kinda simple and mb is d last photo.....kay....just ignore her......EMO TIME.....

me have tis rabbit bread as my brunch......(err...kinda out of shape liao...)

1) headache........
2)ARGH......CHINESE..........U killed me.....WANNA SHOUT OUT LOUDLY.....
(too many thgs to study......but too lit time left.....oh gosh.....)

I wanna keep my hair......I dun wanna "chop" it off.....
Oh pls......DR VIVIAN.......can I ????
tis d hair i keep for him.....i dun wanna go bald......I DUN wan....
pls.....

p/s: She's typically down.......argh......sick.......

exam.....study week?????

guys.......Im okay ady......as I continue my class and life as usual.....^^
just tat I kena CUCUk again.......haiz.....but I just used to it ady..........dun worry.....I wil make sure tat I wil be owez okay.....cz I stil gotta wait for him......tats y I will make sure tat IMMA okay.....see......^^

hmmmmm......everyone from IPG around d world have their study week on....haiz.......but wat about us??????STUDY WEEK???????eleh.....tak ade lah.......everyone is having their on study time.....our class?????haiz......Another PJ here....den 语音，写作....haiz........
but den luckily...thy said tat tml will be d last day....(and i really do hope so....)den only i can 面壁思过....and study...(actually is 面镜思过lar...cz there's a pieces of mirror in front of ma table....=P)
erhmmmm.....can i finish everythg before my papers?????can I ?????There are too much things to study....and too lit time left for us.....adoi.....errr....got my slip peperiksaan today ya....means.....exam is not too far away...argh......gotta sit for 4 paper......PC2311P5, PC2312P5, PJ2311P5 and SS2311P5....hmmm....how i wish I can change my major.....I wan english....Be-TESL wil do.....MUsic...seni.....haiz....(minor oso nvm lor....but den AMANDA....wake up lor......d 3 of them is x in ur exam list lar)......HAIZ.......
PC2311P5- 现当代文化；西游记；语音；写作
PC2312P5－古典文学；鲁迅作品；文化；阅读
PJ2311P5－PJA;Olahraga;PJ TMK;Kurikulum
SS2311P5 - Ekonomi M'sia,;Geografi Alam Sekitar Manusia; Tamadun Dunia

And wats going on with d weather???????It is even hotter den tat...( i mean when imma in NS....i tot tats d hottest weather tat i ever met.....)
IMMA MELTING.....cz IMMA PUTERI LILIN.....LOLS.....no lar....melting is for sure i wil....and imma not really d puteri lilin lar.....just tat i dun really wanna step out of my room....even one step......1stLY....i cun open my eyes at all.....err...mb my eyes r sensitive to d sunlight.....perhaps.....hmmm...den one more thing......I usually wil faint under tis kinda terrible sun...and my head cracks (cz she had migraine...ish...hate it....).....hmmm.......and MR HOT SUN owez makes me SICK.......and I wonder when can I have a date wif Ms RAinny or MS Windy as well?????hmmm.....tat wil be much more betta den.....

hmmmm....everyone is out now....today's tuesady.....and there's pasar malam......even my roommate went there tooo....(she was thos who dun really go out o....)haha....hmmmmm.....
and den....wats on tuesday?????ya....GUitar lesson....i missed two or three lesson before tis......and im wondering can i ever catch up?????Im sure d others will be right too far....too good from i do....haiz.....so......after d exam taklimat...err....abt 2 somethg....den reach hostel.....den have my bath.....and settle down everythg.....den she starts her practice.....yeah.....she forgot all her CHORDS...='(.....but den she tried her best lor..... den hor......when she went for d lesson.....lecturer said" hmmm......not bad....just tat You nid more practice ya....."
kay.....imma gotta work hard for it.......and today......I learned quite alot of new things...new chord,new song.....^^.....even my finger tips are pain.....but actually these aren't d worse one.....cz i tried d worst thg during my ABRSM exam......hmmmm.....and i wun giv up....cz i wanna play thos songs.....(thos songs which he like...shhhh....)

tis is when she's bored.....and her guitar accompany her....=P.....she cun bring along her piano over here,right......somehow MUSIC do helps her.....(tats y she wan music as her minor....but unfortunately.....she din get it... how sad...)

Imma BEing invite by Kung Yiing to watch their play...^^

TIME: Thursday; MAy 12; 8-11pm
LOCATION: Seri Tanjung Hall, IPG Ipoh Campus
(K12 & K13 units cordially invite all the lecturers and trainees from IPG Ipoh Campus to our play "Macbeth-goes Bollywood"...And I actually saw tis.....from the director of the Lord Of The Ring, and Transformers, executive producer: Steven Spielberg, we, k12 and k13 present Macbeth: goes bollywood......)

so guys......good luck and all the best for d play......err.....I tik i wil be gng lar.....WILL BE ONLY ar....cz imma really scared tat i cun finish lar......sorry ya.....but i wil owez support u guys.....^^


and one more thing......before I end my post....errr....tis ma design for d 中秋晚会委员的T-shirt...

any ideas or comments??????i wanna do d best ya......pls help ya....thx alot.....

What going on with her????anyone????

Imma scared...ya....she is scared....She cun get up this morning...... no matter how they cal her....she just cun get up......She cun get up at all.....thy was thinking of waking her up and be prepared for church....but den thy cun wake her up....And they rush her to d hospital.....and now....she is okay ady....she wakes up ady.....sorry.....sorry for giving u guys a shocked.....MAma....sorry tat u cun celebrate mama's day at home,and gotta worry about me.....sorry....was d cake okay?????it's green tea flavor.....i hope u will love it....and at 1st i wanna cook for you d....but den i cun....can i postpone to next time????sorry....and can i leave tis place????can i go home????i wanna go home by now....please.....i hate to be alone at night in tis sacry place....i wanna go home.....

gotta wear this ugly thing...yer....dislike ar.....
today's 8th of May.....and d PBSM are having an event....tats Red Cresent BAby.....tat means whichever baby who are born on today wil be given present....I noe cz thy r gng around d hospital and looking for tis new borned REd Cresent Babies.....thy are so cute as wat i noe.....

staying in here was such a boring thg to do....and luckily mama allow me wif my laptop....and i can play and blog wif it....and for my books...thy brought them too.....cz imma gonna sit for my exam...for sure gotta study lar.....but d doctors wun allow me to stay up too long....gotta stop here.....MISS NURSEY was staring at me.....and she say time up......
wuu...............kay lar.....tata.....

tml stil got class...i tik so....
and i wanna go bac for class lar wei......
hmmmmph.....sad....

haiz.......

Haiz....Again.....she was blacked out.......wats happening to her recently???????she did her treatment...ya.....she had her medicine...ya.....and wats wrong wif her??????hmmmm....perhaps she was too tired...perhaps......or perhaps she was too tension.....Oh Lord.....pls look at her ya.....