中秋快乐

去年的中秋节我邀请了你和我的家人一起共用晚餐，因为我不想你一个人自己过节，中秋的意义就是团圆嘛，当时就是认定了你，把你加入了家庭里。虽然你答应过的亲自制作灯笼没做到，答应好陪伴我点蜡烛，提灯笼（我知道你有点幼稚）也没做到，我的确有点失落。但是过后看见你拍了月亮发在朋友圈，心里暖了起来，但自己不该硬着脸皮，应该给你台阶，表达自己的心声，谢谢你这样你方法哄我。我都不懂得表达，我应该学习如何表达爱。谢谢你用你的方法哄我。 今年不知道你是否和表弟，亲戚，家人和朋友过节呢？尝试和你联系，但你始终冷淡对待。

八月十五中秋节的晚上，我会对着月亮许愿，希望我在意的和在意我的人诸邪避退，百事无忌，平安喜乐，万事胜意。 💕
#中秋快乐
#但愿人长久千里共婵娟

The little heart of mine...

It's been five months..... I had been telling myself, Amanda you can do this.
Yes, had been crying myself to sleep for the pass few months. Now, you gonna see a different side of me.... Im back to the things which I once cnt have..... no matter dancing, aerial yoga, theater, hiking, jogging, swimming... and well, I'm working as a part-time service crew in one of the cafe nearby.... time to be more socialable, spending more time on something else instead of thinking of you.... Heard that you are getting yourself a superbike....Thats cool.....
no matter what, just wanna let you know that I'll always be here to support you.... go for your dreams, go for what you choose, go for what you love..... As what you told me, two years time....and yeah, I have been holding on to that two years.... WIll be waiting for two years..... for a better me, for a better you, for a better us... (18.6.2022)
Total five months from that day...

Perhaps....

Perhaps you shouldnt fall in love with me.... Perhaps I shouldnt start at all..... When I'm still emotional unstable, I just shouldnt start at all.... sorry for making you that stress and tired.... Well, for that FB PAGE ya, I just wanna try ang help and share it out....
never know that I turn out to be something you don't like at all..... perhaps I shouldnt share... perhaps I shouldnt try and help.... was it bcz of all these, you tend to avoid me?
what's the point of walking another path? did you know that its hurting ? Why did you wanna drag yourself further when you were just beside me???? I didnt go any closer... Knowing thing which I shouldnt know is something hurtful.... Im not sure why did you try and hide it from me....what's the reason of doing so???? you can just tell the truth that you didnt went for your navy training, and you follow your cousin to Balik PULAU..... you even told me that he ask you where to go, and he went almost half of penang..... Is it bcause I suggesred lots of things till you feel like you cnt handle everything...
I suggested to have our celebration at home and not in lumut is bcz I though you travelled alot, and I was so like I dont want you to waste petrol, money and travel again... perhaps you wanna travel as you love improtu trips, you loves road trips.....i should just let you plan.... silly me just like my silly old bear-POOH *well, I am actually suffering inside....Thats why I deleted my FACEBOOK APPS and MESSENGER from my phone.....
I cnt even stdn for any longer.... I hv to mute your IG post and stories just to allow myself for losing control..... I feel like im no longer that AMANDA you once know....THIS IS SO NOT MEEEEEEE......I cnt control myself and I have to do somethg to avoid this....

Sometimes when I miss you.

Sometimes when i miss you :( i re-read our old conversations and smile :) Do you know how it feels? to be left crying all alone. and do you know how it feels? to be left dying on that floor all alone. do you know? she gave up without trying on that love and now i'm just sitting, waiting on a message or a call for love. Just for love. It's for love Just for love..