Moody.....

I hate monday......

especially tml.....

cz tml school reopens......

n i gotta go school.....

i DUN WAN.....

i DUN LIKE......

i WANNA QUIT STUDYING.....

T.T

errrh....

assigments almost finished.....

shld ne happy.but y????

ISH.....

too many thgs nid to do....

CAMP....

PESTA TANGLUNG....

CONCERT....

den follow on wif

BIG den....

den it wil be exam time....

ARGHHHH......

n yet ur not bside me....

下大雨了．．．

下大雨了．．．雷声响个不停．．．

我还是像以前一样．．．

超级无几的怕雷电声．．．

这时的我．．．

真的很不得转进你的怀抱，由你抱着我，安抚着我．．．

我真的很怕．．．怕到哭了．．．

真的真的很怕．．．

end of july

It's the end of July.......

and I just wanna Cry....

imma really really tired...

ooh LORD....please......

answer my prayers........

y???

y i wanna cry.....

cz i din send d thgs yet....

i dun hav d time.....

n 

u noe wat im scared off...

d time is limited....

shorter n shorter....

time flies....

it really does....

wait....

anyone free????

can help wif shooting????

please????

tml puasa wil be starting....

n perhaps I should ikut too...

i dun wanna eat.....

i dun feel lik having anythg....

i just wanna cry....

there's no one who listens to me lik you do...

there's no one who stands right bside me whenever i fall....

i just hate myself....

i just dunno how to continue....

i juat wanna giv up in everythg....

there's no mood for me to study....

nor assigments....

nor presentations....

not even d dances,therapies,mettings.....

n everyone is ignoring me.....

T.T

i really do hate myself for tat.....

if not....

during sem break....

we can go on a vacation togather again....

n we can meet each other every single day as u r having ur holid...

having chocho n hugs when imma down....

taking care of me cz imma sick...

i can hav d sweet from u after every medicine i hav,cz thy r bitter...

ARGH.....
GERAM....

memang 

BENCI 

KAT 

AMANDA CHEAH

I have tis kinda feelings.....

I wanna disappear....

In noway......

Cz there's no one who really understands me...

no one who noes how I feel.....

I hate being in tis world....

I hate it.....

I hate d life tat im gng through day by day...

I hate everythi in life...

especially d life w/o you....

see...i just cun life w/o u...

11/07

对不起...

知道你要考STPM了...

加油...

sorry...

keep pretending tat im okay is d best way to protect myself...

i just gotta keep pretending...

somehow...i just can pretend...

all i can do is just wait...

sorry...

argh...

SICK...

again???

ARGH...

useless...

amanda,sick is all u hav???

tats wat im used to it...

chest pain again..

tis time it was even worse den d 3rd time...

n...

i din tell anyone...

as i dun wan to seek for emphaty from others...

speaking for today's eng lesson...

mood swing b4 it...

after i saw wat Wylie sent to me...

y???

am I tat useless...

am I tat priceless???

really x chance at all????

y???

pls...

pls LORD...

just a chance wil do...

pls...

T.T

mind went blank...

x idea nor points at all...

how m I gng to sit for my exam???

wat if i cun get a band 6 for it???

wat shld i tell DAddy???

english teacher's daughter...

formally a banana cun get band 6...

how shameful...

argh.....

NO....

STOP...

presentations starts...

practice starts...

wish me luck for every single presentation...

LOrd...I pray tat i can do well in every single presentation o performance...

sofball tml...

game???

home run???

i used to miss sofbal...

cun wait to ply games...

but sorry...

im tired n sick...

x mood for tml's game...

can i ponteng???

fish...cl juniors...

wen jing...n all band juniors...

another 3 weeks...

u guys wil be in cheras for competition...

gambateh des...

take care of each other ya...

drink more water n rest more...

fully support from ur beloved ex-senior...

AMC BAND...go...go...go...ush...

angeline...

good luck n all d best...

i noe tat ur scared...

so...

i pray tat u wun get it...

but somehow deeply in my heart...

i hope n wish tat u wil get it...

cz u wil learn alot of thgs from it...

NS...it's a sweet memory for me...

it d best thg i had in my life...

i meet my dear in NS...

once we were out from NS...

distances...

faith...

problems...

quarrels...

I miss you...

I nid you...

I LOVE YOU, RYAN LIEW...

irregular weathers...

drink more water...

rest more...

take care...

pls dun fall asick...

I love you dear...

T.T

tossing and turning in bed last night....

thinking of all the memories we had together...

every night...

i lie down in bed...

i'll wet my pillow...

evry night...

o perhaps...

evry single day...

i wish for msgs o calls frm u...

but it dont seems that its coming...

its hurtful...

to know tat i wun b getting wat i wish for...

i'm scared to disturb u...

i'm scared of loosing u...

but wat i'm most scared of is...

we wun b able to be bac togather lik wat once we used to be...

Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you ...

T.T

d world goes all around in d other way....

how am i gng to pass every single day w/o him....

my heart shattered into pieces...

i'm lost wif x directions...

x hand leading my path ahead...

bcz u left me all alone...

i forget on how to live on my own...

skies r no longer blue...

stars r no longer bright...

rainbows r no longer colourful as thy usually do...

i've been crying since d day u left me...

as i dunno how to face d fact tat i gotta be alone...

all alone in tis dark n scary world...

ur presence used to be my torch...

lighting brightly killing d darkness of fear...

u held my hand n been through evry obstacles tat lies in my path...

u r d strength for me to move on...

but den...

when d day u leave me...

i got to face d world alone...

x one's there for me to rely on...

when i'm down...

x one's there for me n to lend me a shoulder as comfortable as urs...

x one will kissed me lik d way u used to...

i miss evry single moment tat we spend togather...

and...

i felt vry awful at tis vry moment...

cz i'm stil missing n loving u for who u r...

tears had been shed...

head is spinning...

n as d sickness is torturing...

if tis is wat it is...

let it be...

i beg mercy from God...

to help me get through tis devastating moment...

bcz these feeling makes me weak...

it really kills me...

if ever tat you wants it bac...

i wil agree w/o hesitating...

but d most probably is tat u wun...

den...

i wil stil wait...

i wil wait for u x matter wat...

til d day i left d world...

i wil not give up hope...

u noe i dun give up love so easily...

especially those i loved...

i have x regret for loving u tat muc...

my heart wil owez be wif u...

however...

n of cz...

i wish badly tat we could be togather lik we used to be...

i really do pray for it...

n...

somehow...

some words for u...

if u re getting sick...

drink more water...

hav more vege n fruits...

if u re sad...

dun be...

cz i wil be sad too...

if u re facing wif obstacles...

dun be scared...

cz u re owez d strongest one who can beat all these obstacles tat lies in ur path...

if u re angry...

try to control ur temper more...

n i noe u can do it...

til then...

u re owez d one i love...

hope for d best for u...

pretending tat im okay now...

tats d one n only way to protect myself...

through it may b tired n suffer...

but wat can i do???

when u r leaving,cun u see how muc i nid u???

dun u noe how muc i nid u right now...

whn u r reading tis post...

imma in my dreamlands...

cz i set it to d auto posting...

hmmm...cz who noes one day i might leave tis bac in tis world...

n i hope tat d stories wun stops...

tired

TIRED....

ya....im really tired...

bringing a tiring n lifeless soul n body to class every single day...

my eyes r lik gold fish eyes...

red....round...n as big as fishball...haha...

rudolph's nose is wif me now...

n it's right on my face....

singing lik no one else....

crying lik ghost...

shouting lik hell....

i just tried to express everythg out....

sorry angeline, i noe im crazy...

n thx for belenja me d bread n d meal at salim...

n one more been considerate for ur jie jie d situation...

friday wif a basketbal play....

saturday wif a 1Sukan 1Murid...

den AMc for juniors...

sunday wif Church...

n choir concert...

london bridge is falling down...

n so do I...

felt down n knock my head...

how many times wil I fall???...

looks lik "big sweet potato"...

but cun hlp it...

twinkle twinkle little star...

how I wonder watcha doing in ma head...

seeing d world go round n round...

like imma hamster in it's wheel...

cun reads d words as thy go up n down...

one,two,three,four,five...

once I had a sweet relationship...

six,seven,eight,nine,ten...

den he left me all alone...

why did he left u alone?

bcz I did some mistakes...

which mistakes did u did?

there's too muc n i cun even count...

Hearty Dearly sat on a wall....

Hearty Dearly had a great fall...

all of amanda's frenz, n all of amanda's family...

couldn;t put hearty dearly togather again!

o pls....

cun u see it....

she's really getting worse....

looking pale huh????....

Star light Star bright...

d 1st star i see tonight...

i wish i may, i wish i might...

hav d wish i wish tonight...

考试期间...(kinda late post...)

原本是在考试那段期间里写的，写完了没放上来...现在才放...

考试期间的我,生病了...

DAY　１

没你在身边，生病了，真的很辛苦...加上又考试...

ＤＡＹ　２

从library回来，始终读不了书．．．

ＤＡＹ　３

　
从来没好过．．．病还是连续．．．

ＤＡＹ　４
　
　
－我的眼睛睁不开了
－我的食物

ＤＡＹ　５



没有你．．．．
我真的不行．．．

exam ends....and how she go though it....

paper 是考完了，大家都说MERDEKA了...但我一点都不觉得...一点也不期待假期的到来...没有你的假期还算得了什么？？？这SEM BREAK对我来说一点都不期待...我不喜欢...很痛苦...加上这次的考试，说老实话，我没读到...会fail吗？？？我七月需要resit吗？？？（tochwood...)我不想，但是我真的没读到书...觉得自己很矛盾，真的真的好像放弃，但又怕不及格...好没用...但我可以说的是，SEM 2 就这样的过了，还有11个SEM...我能吗？？？没有你的日子真的好痛苦...区区的半个SEM，我都不能了...真的很辛苦...DEAR，回来好吗？？？我真的不能没有你...对不起...

这几天，眼睛都被我哭得红红肿肿的...比金鱼的眼睛还要肿...原本的眼睛都已经不是很大粒的，再肿下去，简直就剩下一条线...但我真的真的很想哭，我再也控制不了...泪水就这样，一直往下流...哭包回来了...哭包很勉强的是自己快乐起来，但她失败了...哭包带着那笑脸的面具很辛苦...因为这不是她...她尽量做回自己，在另一头的当儿快乐起来...但她做不到...哭包有一个family了，她的妈妈——okelly phang, 哭包的爸爸——ven feng,但他说我不是他的，因为我很白渥，他说我是妈妈跟小白脸的...='(...哭包的uncle——chiong hung,也就是妈妈的小白脸...然后还有alice她们,就是prasekolah那班华人...这个family给我带来了不少的欢乐，谢谢你们...

然后，阿姐...对不起...我知道你一直都很关心我，一直都劝我放...我也知道有好几次都让你好失望...对不起...你都知道我是很固执的，依我性格，我认定的人，或事物...我是不会放弃的...就算后果是不值得，我会更累，更伤，更痛苦，我还是不会放弃....对不起...还有，我开始不会说出任何的事情了...看了这你就会明白...对不起...《她》

（abt u follow me,jus wanna tell it's okay now....cz x one wil see my blog ady.....especially him...SAD huh???ya....it's really sad and hurt....)

can anyone make me smile???can anyone teach me how can I save it?????
dear....can u see tis????my life is really miserable w/o u.....im x lying....it's true.....
sorry....i really din mean it n i noe sorry wun turn bac time...
but i really hope u und...and giv me another chance....
hope u enjoy ur holidays,n im glad to noe tat ur bac to ur hometown safely...

AND IM HERE TO WISH EVERYONE......HAPPY HOLIDAY......
ENJOY URSELF DURING HOLIDAY.....BUT DO OWEZ RMB....SAFETY 1ST.....
TATA....