I am trying hard,PLs dun push me.....

I cannot stand it,I m trying very hard,but you guys just keep on pushing me....I know this year SPM le....I can cope with band and studies d,Why you guys just dun understand....Y????I hurt myself again....Is the same,when I press harder I still cun feel the pain,is because the pain inside is more suffering....new SCARS have been seen once again on my hand....dun be surprise when you saw it.....
This whole week is hard for me.....I cry myself to sleep....I know Sis them getting good results,but that doesn't mean I can be like them....I am not as clever as them...pls,be considerate...THen prefects'meeting is on monday,and band too...Pn Yap say that whoever cannot go for that meeting is no longer prefect...and band...haiz,what should I choose?Everyone is staying away from me....why??Is it because I cry in school?Is it because my attitude?Or there is some other reason?Please dun do this to me....Is hurting me....
I have been pretending that I am very happy,I have been laughing,playing,fooling around,but is that me?I have been wondering....Everything in school is soooooo.....I have to keep on pretending.....I cun lets others to worry about me.....